So life has been kinda crazy. Just found out this week that after 10 years my mother in law is now basically resenting me because I don't want to have kids even thought I've been pretty honest and open about it for the past 10 years and old briefly for about a year in 2013 did I actually consider it. But my intrusive thoughts control my mind so much and I just don't feel it is safe for me to raise a baby persay. So one night in a drunken fit, my mother in law posts on my facebook quote that I am a liar and lied to her, which is BS. On top of that we rent and live with her. So I'm kind of in a bind. I feel like shit. lower than dirt. I feel like I don't matter to her unless I produce a kid for her. Like she would trade me for a grandchild in a heartbeat. It sucks. It really does. But I've been venting through drawing and writing.