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A writer's soul

9/23/13 by Jiovanni
Updated 9/23/13

For those of you who cannot tell, although I heavily immerse myself into lifeless clay creations and long-winded drawings w/ little fruitful bearing, I am unfortunately a writer at heart. It tends to come out every now and then, and I see myself forgetting often- or rather pushing away- my once bright past of writing. I feel terrible for letting the knowledge and creativity that I once had with words, wither and slink into the darkness...

This is something I wrote and had posted on my birthday 8/3/13. It was never commented on. I was looking back on it with a sense of admiration and wanted to share it once again. I am my own worst critic. always and forever....
_______________________________________________________________________________________

"What makes you so damn special?!"
Yeah, I hear that on a daily basis, from my worst critic: myself. That and the rest of the world.
So, is there anything? No, honestly no. Especially not here on Newgrounds where your flash animations
hold more weight in gold that any art piece you could ever create.
I have posted art on here countless times only to fall to deaf ears and blind eyes.
Fame is not my game. I just want to been seen.
Some days I just want to know that all my efforts aren't for waste of breath and energy.
This is my hobby, not my career. I sit at a desk all day and watch my life go by.
Each minute, hour, day, week, month year.
Today on August 3rd, it is my birthday. I can't believe that the year went by in a blink of an eye.
To continue on track a midst my senseless ramblings..
Nothing makes me special here. I don't animate, my art will forever be a wallflower.
Do you know that I was once a scouted artist on the forum? You couldn't guess it by looking at me.
I was scouted and vouched for for less than a week. I was so excited for the one week. I started posting my art like
a mad man with limitless cash... It was beautiful. I thought to myself "they really like me! I must be doing something great!"
And then, in the blink of an eye it was gone. My title was stripped and I was crushed and broken in the gutter. To be forgotten and left to die. I have rebuilt slowly. I can only post so many art pieces on the forum, so I have to made the hard decision to sacrifice a previous art piece in order to submit something new.
I get by, in my own little worthless world. I submit an art piece, look at it there all shiny and pretty, knowing although it will only shine bright in my eyes, in the end that's all the matters. The master must love his creation in order for it to thrive.
I don't animate, as I have explained before. I have tried to attempt that avenue a few times, only to end in mass confusion and failure. And the failure haunts me on here as I have nothing to really show for myself in the online society. I am the little creature in the corner; not even being mocked or spit upon because no one realizes I am even there. I hide in the shadows, watching.. waiting. I sometimes comment on other's animations. I log in diligently, giving as many 5 star ratings as I can to other's flashes in the hopes of making some small, tiny difference to the overall rating of their piece. I try.
Nothing but deaf ears and blind eyes.. I am lost in a sea of them. Maybe someday I will be allowed back in the art portal..
There is always hope.
"What makes you so damn special?!"
You're right... absolutely nothing makes me special in this life or the next.. Nothing truly makes me special or better than anyone else. But none of us really are. We are here and then we are gone. All that remains is our imprint on humanity, on society. That is what I want, that it what I inspire to do. Nothing makes me special, but someday I hope to be.

A writer's soul


Comments

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DoomroarDoomroar

9/25/13

Sounds like it will work just fine that way.


DoomroarDoomroar

9/24/13

Oh how is that logo coming by the way?

Rshaw94 wrote a very good point there in the review of the 2nd prototype, i may add, that a logo should be able to be modifiable and still remain its essence, and by essence i mean the faculty of something to be remembered, like the Nike logo, or the coca-cola logo, or the Pepsi logo, who have changed with the time, but remain identifiable. For example some people just notice the changes once the old logo is put together with the new, now this may say that a logo should be a simple enough thing to be easily remembered, while being flashy enough to install an impression, sure the intention of the things that the logo represents also put a big deal of influence in the making of the logo, which brings me to the point that we really don't have any background in the company the logo is for, and yet... we all are dropping reviews haha, wow such a simple thing yet we all ignored it and commented regardless, quite an imprudent thing.

9/25/13 Jiovanni responds:

Well so far I have the two designs and will work on a third this weekend. I think for my 3rd design, I will try a more simpler logo, with minimal lines and detail, like the starbucks logo. Something basic, but that everyone can comprehend. Because if the logo is shrunk down to a smaller size, all the fine detail (such as in my 2 previous designs) would be lost or indistinguishable.


nietzlawenietzlawe

9/24/13

Never stop doing what you love because if you love what you do, you will never be disappointed.

9/24/13 Jiovanni responds:

Thank you, that's very nice. That is why I never majored in art or writing... I knew I would end up hating my passion.


DoomroarDoomroar

9/24/13

It must be frustrating, but i will said it regardless, i am liking that dog more than the very text it is accompanying, and now lets say we take it to the next dimension and it transforms into an structure with height?! the sculpture would then again take the spotlight over the 2 other mediums, ah so unfair of me, i know, but i'm not here to do flattery, i'm here to being clear in my comments and reviews, and i am liking the drawings more than the letters, which may be conflicting because you are a writer at heart, but your drawing just have this thing to them that makes them so attractive and out of the pot, the pot known as the masses, masses clustered driving into stagnation, while your text is (in comparison) a more traditional form, of course your drawing uses a traditional medium pen and paper, but it has an unconventional form, while your writing has modern medium a computer that uses the "cloud", and its form is quite traditional, nevertheless we can see you are working with an interesting vision here, i think i want my eyes to partake more into these things.

9/24/13 Jiovanni responds:

well that makes sense, my writing/story that was paired with that drawing was not apropos.
I think that acid trip dog is the only recent kind of artwork that I have done in that class of sheer abstract. Lately I have been focusing on that Logo design.


your art is very unique
your poetry is also good

seems more special than most of the art here

9/24/13 Jiovanni responds:

Thank you Flaming Fedora. I greatly appreciate your comment and positive words.