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So life has been kinda crazy. Just found out this week that after 10 years my mother in law is now basically resenting me because I don't want to have kids even thought I've been pretty honest and open about it for the past 10 years and old briefly for about a year in 2013 did I actually consider it. But my intrusive thoughts control my mind so much and I just don't feel it is safe for me to raise a baby persay. So one night in a drunken fit, my mother in law posts on my facebook quote that I am a liar and lied to her, which is BS. On top of that we rent and live with her. So I'm kind of in a bind. I feel like shit. lower than dirt. I feel like I don't matter to her unless I produce a kid for her. Like she would trade me for a grandchild in a heartbeat. It sucks. It really does. But I've been venting through drawing and writing.
soo.... It's my birthday today!!! so stoked!!
Turning the big 30 today!
Here is a little blurb I wrote on my FB wall today that I thought I would share with all you lovelies:
In 1986, 30 years ago from today, our lives were in a very different place than now. But of course that speaks for everyone. But for myself and my family it was a great time of uncertainty. It was a point in my life-- and the beginning of my life, but a point at which we could not easily look 30 years ahead and see a future for me. Looking back on the photos and stories, memories that my family tells me, I would not have imagined being 30 today. So it may be another year, but to me it is a milestone. I am so blessed that my mother, father and sisters were there and were my voice when I could not speak for myself and were there to encourage my strength and my fighter's spirit. They did not give up on me. My father named me. We did not know until later that my name, Tracey, meant survivor. But today is not just my day alone, I share my birthday with my amazing mother. And if I had been born as planned it would have been in November and we would not have gotten to share the special day together. I look down the road with anticipation of the continuation of my journey in this place we call life.
Bascially, I was born 3 months premature, weight 1lb, 7oz at birth and according to the doctors wasn't going to survive and they made a point of telling my parents this repeatedly. But my parents would not give up and fought and prayed for me and I got surgery to save my life and eventually got through that year milestone despite my developmental delay and now I am the person that I am today. I may not be perfect but I have come a hell of a long way from where I started. I feel that is a heck of an accomplishment.
Well, my husband finally got me into the Pokemon Go game for the smart phones. I was hesitant for a long time after it came out because I felt with my work schedule that I just didn't have enough time to play. He is currently unemployed so he pretty much has all the time in the world right now to go out walking around town to play. I decided to join in on the fun about 2 weeks ago. I'm mostly just playing on the weekends. We have a large family cell plan and last month we were very close to hitting our data limit. From the data info on the phone, it said that Pokemon Go wasn't using much data, but it sure seemed like we blew through it last month. So I'm trying to do my part to conserve more this current month. I'm mostly just playing here and there on the weekends and just hitting the various landmarks to obtain pokeballs and experience points and then catching the occasional pokemon here and there. I like the game. It has a lot of bugs though. The severs go down frequently, the pokestops/landmarks get bugged and you either can't reach the landmark, or it times out and then just doesn't give you anything but starts the countdown time and turns purple and then you have to wait for refresh. I do like how some of the pokestop landmarks have little blurbs. I try to read them when I can because some of them give historical information that I never knew about. Kinda cool! So, in the spirit of pokemon, I've been making some pokemon dooles this week. Made some other things as well. Enjoy!
I felt like I've been away for ages.... Here are some recent drawings I made on my phone. Enjoy! I didn't submit anything to the art portal because they are just doodles for fun, nothing serious
I went to a comic book store and purchased a comic book from the "Aspen Extended Edition". The comics are all just hand drawn in pencil, no color or shading. I bought one to learn from it and to try my hand at drawing people better. This was my first attempt at drawing a woman's head today.
This was a request made for Diamond Eclipse. Dude, I will say this. I think your pixel version was WAY better, but this is my attempt at it. I'm not good at drawing people and so this was obviously a challenge for me. I also had difficulty with the text on your original image, but I just decided not to do it. Plus I noticed yours was text and I didn't have a font that was similar. This was drawn on my samsung galaxy note 4
Hey all! Sorry for the long absence. I haven't been doing much art lately. Been busy with work and not having much energy or motivation when I come home. Started doing some phone doodles again this week. Finally got off my antidepressant and am now just on an anti-anxiety med to help my mood, anxiety, and OCD. It's NOT a benzo though because I refuse to take those...
Here are some of my recent projects this past week, all drawn on my Samsung Galaxy Note 4. Enjoy!